Yay, it is another opportunity for Dopers to take part in their third-favorite activity

Yay, it is another opportunity for Dopers to take part in their third-favorite activity

Dating guidelines for nerds

Therefore listed here is my issue: we likes me personally some shy, nerdy dudes, nevertheless they will not start a discussion beside me. We have no issue using the initiative (no fear, no tact, with no pity, actually), but if We make an effort to keep in touch with them We have a tendency to get fear signals straight back: stuttering, twitching, averted eyes, etc.

I am perhaps maybe maybe not unattractive (based on the good people when you look at the present picture thread with good hygiene, gown feeling, and basic grooming practices. I am a little peaceful in that I do not invest on a regular basis giggling and speaking like the majority of girls my age (22), but i will definitely hold personal in a sensible discussion. We have no self-esteem dilemmas or daddy dilemmas or “issues” of any sort, really (except with individuals whom utilize the non-word “anyways, ” but that is why I’m a doper, right? ).

I am told that i am too intimidating (i will be blunt) and therefore guys will immediately assume that We’m taken because i am perhaps maybe not unsightly, but i am perhaps maybe perhaps not flirting either (WTF? ).

I am getting sick and tired of carrying the discussion for 2 before the nerdy man understands that I am maybe perhaps not planning to sprout an additional head and relaxes sufficient for me to access know him.

Will there be some shorthand, some alert or code phrase that I’m able to provide or state to allow him understand i am maybe not that frightening, actually?

*relationship advice. You might also participate in the passtime that is second-favorite which can be nitpicking my grammar and spelling, if you think the need. None of the first-favorite material in right here, though. This can be household thread.: )

You hinted to the end it sounds like you’re doing fine that you do eventually get the nerdy guys to relax, so. It simply takes longer with some individuals. I am a Nerdy Guy myself, and I also should get my partner to tell you how–skittish–I is at very very very first. It can not be much better as compared to dudes you are speaking about.

What sort of signals okcupid visitors do you really distribute? Any kind of “you” language is incredibly effective. “Name” language–that is, mentioning the individual’s name–is better yet.

You hinted to the finish which you do sooner or later obtain the nerdy dudes to flake out, therefore it feels like you are doing fine. It simply takes longer with some individuals. I am a Nerdy Guy myself, and I also should get my partner to tell you how–skittish–I was at very very first. It cannot be much better as compared to dudes you are referring to.

*sigh* i understand, but sometimes wef only I possibly could slip a Xanax to their hill dew, ya understand?

What type of signals can you send? Any kind of “you” language is very effective. “Name” language–that is, mentioning the individual’s name–is better still.

This is certainly advice that is good. We make an effort to distribute “not stuck-up” (because often people confuse “quiet” for “snobby”), “friendly, ” and “not threatening. ” We smile (but I do not giggle), We make attention contact, and I also do not interrupt them as they are attempting to obtain a phrase out (that is hard).

Wait, you love the quiet(ish) nerd kind? And also you’re at OSU? If We just possessed a motor vehicle…

Feh, whom’m we joking? I’d clam up too. Girls are scary.

Will there be some shorthand, some alert or code expression that i will provide or state to allow him understand i am maybe not that frightening, really? To start with, i recently took a glance at your image, and my your ranking in the Attract-O-Meter is;

( perhaps perhaps perhaps Not my typical kind, but we’d have time that is hard my eyeball-tracking however. )

In terms of advice (and I am in your target demographic): The best thing you can do to make a geek feel comfortable is get him to talk about his favorite subject/intellectual infatuation/doctorial thesis as you may have already inferred. As soon as you get him started, along with simply the barest of consistent prodding and display/simulacrum of great interest he’ll drop the entire shyness facade and tell you exactly about The Hitchhiker’s Guide to your Galaxy/linguistic interrelations for the Romance languages/the life cycle of abdominal worms. As soon as he is run their program and it is convinced that you’re genuinely!, amazingly!, outstandingly! Enthusiastic about him, he then’ll begin asking regarding the passions. (If he does not, he then’s most likely only a self-absorbed bastard, and also you do not want that. You want to see through the initial barricade, maybe not in to the dungeon. )

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